“Concussion forced me to give up rugby - the game I love.”
This article is sourced from www.theflanker.co.uk
Alastair McKee moved to England from South Africa with two seasons of rugby and an equal number of severe concussions under his belt. Here he discusses how giving up the game for the sake of his health was one of the hardest decisions of his life.
“The camaraderie within a team, adrenaline highs of running onto the pitch on a Saturday afternoon and sipping a pint after winning a game.
These were the reasons I had played for 15 years.
It was why training twice a week in the freezing cold rain with my mates was worth it and nothing and no one could convince me otherwise. Or so I thought.
My first experience of playing rugby was as a scrawny 13-year-old, running around barefoot on dry hard school playing fields during the Autumn holidays in Johannesburg.
I had previously only ever played soccer, which I was s*** at, and being presented with rugby was an opportunity to show I wasn’t as weak as I believed people thought I was.
Ironically, I broke a toe on my first session which didn’t do much for my desired hardman persona.
A few weeks later I started high school. Very early on I realised how important rugby was to school status. If I remember correctly, I think three of the previous consecutive head boys were 1st XV rugby captains.
In South Africa, the majority of the school and their parents descended on to the sports fields to watch the boys play on a Saturday. The atmosphere was always electric with parents and students often baying for blood.
As youngsters, we were simply trying to make the biggest tackles or score heroic individual tries by running around entire teams, which usually resulted in bloody noses, broken collar bones, dislocated shoulders and tears.
Nonetheless, we’d always heal up and get back to it at the earliest opportunity and on the rare occasion we made that massive hit or scored that amazing try, our teammates would laud us as heroes for the rest of the week and you’d feel like Superman.”
After moving to England Alastair soon started playing again, moving on to appear at centre for local club sides and his university where he enjoyed all the trappings of the social side rugby provides.
After 10 seasons he choose to take a short-break from the game to focus on his studies.
Although I certainly missed it, my body was grateful for the breather.
I had suffered several injuries over the years ranging from pulled hamstrings and strained shoulder ligaments to whiplash and multiple concussions.
When we finally returned to the pitches in May (after Covid lockdown), it was very evident that rugby was something that a lot of us had used to keep fit and missed during lockdown.
We were gearing up to play the first amateur rugby games in 18 months and it was great to be training in the sunshine, flinging outrageous passes you’d never manage in the winter rain.
The anticipation for the season was massive and I was buzzing to play a few more games.”
But this is where it all started to go wrong for Alastair - with a seemingly innocuous incident away from the rugby field proving a career-ender.
“I went away for a long weekend with friends from school and made a silly decision to “superman dive” into a field of flowers.
I assumed the foliage would cushion my fall, but I was very wrong. My head bounced hard off my outstretched arm and that’s pretty much all I remember from the rest of that day.
I suffered another concussion, my first non-rugby related head knock but a bad one nonetheless. My symptoms were as severe as they had ever been: vomiting, memory loss, disorientation and a hell of a headache.
I suffered many concussions since I first started to play rugby, but even after multiple head CT scans, neck X-Rays and countless times “stressing out” loved ones, the desire to play is so strong you sweep these horrible occasions under the carpet.
The reality is, specifically with concussions, each time you take a knock it develops a cumulative effect on your brain.
The next one occurs more easily and often the symptoms can be worse and hang around for longer periods of time.
The real problem though is the longer-term effects of this injury type. Recent research has started to link concussions to downstream health issues both physical and mental.
Early-onset dementia, depression and neurodegenerative diseases are just a few potential problems that may result from multiple head injuries.
After this latest concussion, my nearest and dearest had had enough and, to be honest, it scared the hell out of me too.
It resulted in me having to make the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. I was going to give up playing rugby.
I’ve played for 15 years, trained twice a week in freezing cold, wet and windy weather in addition to gym sessions each week.
I’ve played in three countries and made most of my friends through the sport. Rugby is something that defines me and it’s unthinkable to me that I will not play the game again. But here I am, with the decision taken out of my hands.
You can’t have 10 concussions, requiring several hospital visits and CT scans, and expect to keep going as though nothing has happened.
As much as I’d love to keep playing until I’m 40, I’d hate myself if I ended up being a burden to my family simply because I wanted to run into giant lumps every Saturday.
When you see professional sportspeople announce their retirement it’s always preceded with a statement about how hard it was to make the decision.
What you rarely hear about is how tough things are after you’ve made the decision.
I’m by no means a professional athlete but for me that has been the most difficult part. I can’t stress enough how rugby has helped manage my mental health over the years.
When I was down, it forced me to focus on something other than my own issues. When I was low on motivation, it made me get off my butt and work for something far more than just myself.
When I was angry, it gave me an outlet. Even when I felt on top of the world, it brought me back down to earth.
Obviously, it has major benefits to physical fitness but it has also been the greatest regulator of my mental wellbeing I could have asked for.
I am forever grateful to the sport for all that it has given me. It taught me to be disciplined, resilient and committed.
It developed skills like teamwork and communication; it promoted an active lifestyle and instilled in me a sense of self-worth.
Most importantly it gave me many friendships which I will hold dear until the end of my days. I am a no-one in rugby terms. I barely reached 1st team status at a small local club.
Yet even then, this is how strongly I feel about the sport.
This is what I feel it has given me. These are the reasons I would recommend to every young kid, boy or girl, to give rugby a go.
While there are physical risks to the great game, the potential personal benefits to your children are, in my opinion, incalculable.
Rugby has shaped me into who I am today and for that, I’m so thankful.”
