“I just laid there, they thought I’d broken my neck.”
This article is written by Progressive Rugby
“I’m glad you find it funny because I’m amazed you’re still alive.”
Iain was a talented centre
His neurologist’s words in the summer of 2014, delivered coldly and seriously, saw Iain Millar’s trademark smile start to falter as a realisation of what he had put his body through dawned on him.
Iain, a talented centre who had played for Bodmin, Launceston and Petersfield, had cracked his head hard on the ground the previous year making a tackle resulting in him losing feeling in the left-hand side of his body, cognitive impairment as well as memory and balance issues.
“I made a tackle and went into a cartwheeling motion and smashed my head on the ground. I had a severe shoulder injury too, but my head took the brunt of the impact,” he said.
“Within minutes an ambulance was on its way. I just laid there, they thought I’d broken my neck.”
While this was clearly a significant incident, it was Iain’s injury history that had led to his neurologist making such a dramatic proclamation.
In 2005 Iain had suffered a compressed spinal concussion during a game but was back playing within two weeks after caving into flattery from teammates.
He went onto suffer a further eight or nine concussions both on the pitch and in training, each time returning within days, easily convinced his loss to the team was too significant.
“I broke my nose 11 times but didn’t compute my nose is part of the head which had therefore suffered a big impact,” Iain said.
By the time of the injury in January 2013, Iain’s luck had run out.
As well as the left sided global weakness, significant memory issues and reduced cognitive function and chronic fatigue and classic symptoms including acute sensitivity to light, Iain developed vertigo which resulted in a bad fall that required a foot and ankle reconstruction.
Worse still, the brain injury led to losing his sense of empathy, and while his wife has been amazing, it has unfortunately seen relationships with friends and family damaged. Life now involves therapy, medication and Botox injections in his shoulders to ease the pain.
Iain said: “It’s been nine years of hurt, of depression, of frustration and of rehabilitation. But in actual fact I’m one of the lucky ones, because I’m still walking and talking so I count my blessings.”
Nowadays, Iain finds it increasingly difficult to watch rugby, instead focussing more on playing on the European Disabled Golf Association tour which satisfies his competitive edge.
He said: “I have to turn it off because of the collisions. My friends seem to think it’s like PTSD and it’s taking me back to a moment that I don’t want to remember.
“I did watch the Six Nations and World Rugby should be ashamed. What exactly have they done to protect players like Tomas Francis and Kyle Sinckler? The whole system is failing – it’s embarrassing and, worse than that…it’s dangerous.”
“It’s a huge cultural and behavioural change but it’s not rapid enough.